


Music Will Heal Your Broken Faith

by DrJackAndMissIole



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, Music, Rock and Roll, alec is clueless and cute, simon is his mentor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6701620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrJackAndMissIole/pseuds/DrJackAndMissIole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set after 'City Of Fallen Angels'<br/>Alec is heartbroken and lonely, so he tries to escape through music<br/>This work in on hold</p>
            </blockquote>





	Music Will Heal Your Broken Faith

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction, I hope you enjoy it!

Alec Lightwood was many things, a skilful archer, an excellent Shadowhunter, a diligent son, a loving brother, but there were two things he didn’t even know how to wrap his head around: music and relationships, especially when said relationships came with certain warlocks with cat-like eyes.

He showed perfectly how he was not able to behave and keep his cool in front of said warlock on various occasions, but he never failed this epically before.

And now he was drowning, unable to breath nor swim in the vastness of time at his disposal since the Indonesian black-haired man walked out of his life. Those last moments spent together were burned and replayed on loop in the back of his mind.

Alec was many things, but he was no fool. He knew he should’ve been begging for forgiveness in front of Magnus for what he thought about doing, but since he couldn’t even bear himself to let the warlock answer his phone calls without hanging up abruptly after a few seconds made his desperate search for forgiveness almost impossible.

He didn’t know what to do anymore, so he tried to improve on the his lack of musical experience, in order to forget temporally about his broken heart.

The usual classical music, with its frequencies used to fight demons, couldn’t satisfy him anymore, not after everything that happened with Magnus.  That strange man brought chaos and colour in the young Nephilim’s black life, and now he was empty, left alone with a constant feeling of numbness and with a hole in his chest. He was deprived of all the pleasures life could offer.

He had to fill that hole, otherwise it would’ve driven him mad.

Asking Jace about it wasn’t the best option, their taste in music was almost identical.

Asking Izzy, he didn’t even need to think about: he would’ve never give his sweet sister the power to control any of his life choices willingly, not even a stupid one such as the music genre!

Asking Clary was a possibility, but Alec questioned so much about the lifestyle of the redheaded girl, that he quickly discarded the idea.

The only possible solution, the one that seemed less painful, was to ask the vampire his sister cared so much about. Just thinking about that  shoot chills of fear on his skin. But **_he_** was the most logical choice to make; after all, Simon Lewis was still a musician who played in a band, if that’s how you could call four guys who made music in a garage. He probably knew how to ease the pain in his chest.

That’s why, on that particular cold evening, a lonely Alexander Lightwood had jumped off the metro and was heading to the apartment the Day-lighter shared with another Downworlder, a werewolf member of the _Praetor Lupus_. When he arrived, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door firmly.

In a few seconds the door was opened by a confused Simon, not really expecting the presence of the Shadowhunter in his apartment. “What can I do for you, Alec? Izzy’s not here, in case you were looking for her”.

The older of the Lightwood brothers stiffed and began to admire his shoe-strings. ‘ _You can do it, Alec! You fight demons, it’s just a question. Easy as tracing an iratze on a wound”_ , a voice inside his mind said and the young boy blurted out a series of incomprehensible sounds.

Simon opened his eyes almost comically at the scene: the man who was always so precise with everything was now rambling on his foyer.

A little bit worried, the vampire asked: “Alec, is everything okay? Do you want me to call Izzy, or Jace, and tell’em you’re here? _Why_ are you here?”

After taking a few deep breaths, for what the young man felt like an eternity, Alec said: “Yes, I’m fine. I was...emm... –he swallowed a lump in his throat- I was looking for you, actually. May I?”

“Yes! Of course! Come in!”, said Simon, leading the way to the worn-out couch. “So” the Vampire tried to start the conversation but his attempt wasn’t working; between him and Alec there were no hard feelings but there wasn’t a good friendship, either. On top of that, Simon had just started to hang-out with Isabelle Lightwood, Alec’s little sister, so the situation was a little bit awkward. Before he could even start to speak again, the older Shadowhunter shocked him by saying : “Suggest me some music to listen to”.

Simon took a few seconds to make his dead brain process the words the young Nephilim said; this was the most confusing situation he had ever faced.

Alexander Lightwood had really came to _him_ to know about **_MUSIC_**?

Reading the confusion on the Day-lighter’s face, Alec throw himself headlong into explaining the reason behind his action: how he couldn’t manage to make the time pass as it used to; how classical music couldn’t satisfy him any longer; how he couldn’t stop thinking about Magnus. How much he actually missed Magnus.

After a few seconds of silence had passed between the two boys, Simon sighed and said: “Let me get this straight, you came of your own will to _me_ , of all people **_ME_** , because you need _help_ to sort of move on from Magnus and you thought _music_ might help you?”. Alec nodded his affirmation, staring into the Vampire’s eyes.

Simon jumped on his feet and fist bumped the air, saying: “I know **_exactly_** what you need! I mean, not like I experienced it first hand, but the whole situation screams ‘ _ROCK AND ROLL BABY!_ ’” and with that disappeared behind, what Alec supposed, was his bedroom’s door.

He came back a few moments later with a quadrangular-shaped object, which the Shadowhunter figured was a compact disc case, and he handed it carefully to Alec. “You will protect it at all costs, even if it means your death” Simon said with a deadpanned expression, that faded in a matter of seconds and had been replaced by a genuine laugh, “I’ve always, **ALWAYS** , wanted to use that sentence!” he managed to say between the laughs.

Alec nodded again and stared with curiosity at the case in his hands: on the cover were portrayed three boys and a girl, with the word ‘ _Riot!_ ’ written many times in black paint and one time in orange paint on the wall on the background.

“It’s the first one that popped in front of my eyes” Simon admitted “It’s also one of my all time favourites, Hayley William is an angel when she sings!”; Alec wondered if the girl was a Nephilim as he was, since she could sing like angels. The Day-lighter kept on talking : “Also the lyrics of some songs might help. I really hope you’ll enjoy it, oh! and don’t worry, keep it for as long as you need to” and he smiled at Alec. Once again Alec nodded and smiled, not really focusing on what the Downworlder had said before. He managed to mutter out loud a “Thank you” before leaving the apartment.

His mind was racing, already  inside the Institute, figuring out the best way to get to his sweet sister’s stereo without having her start questioning.

Once he had arrived safely home, he immediately found her and persuaded her into letting him use the stereo. She was unsure at first, saying how Alec would probably break it, but in the end she gave up and showed him how to use it, since his brother was clueless when it came to technology.

“If you damage it, I will steal your money to get another one. Deal?” Izzy said.

“Yes, yes. I got it. Don’t worry, I won’t break it” Alec replied, while getting the disk onto the reader. Izzy took the case in her hands and stared in disbelief at the cover; “Paramore? Really?” she asked looking at her brother, who just shrugged it off.

“I didn’t peg you as the Punk Rock music type. Who are you and what did you do to my big brother?” she said between laughs. Alec told her to shut up and leave him alone. The girl loudly kissed his cheek, leaving a stain of her lipstick behind, and did as she was told. “Have fun!” she shouted just before closing the door and leaving Alec alone in her bedroom.

The  Shadowhunter stayed staring in front of the stereo for a few seconds without saying anything.

Again that nauseous feeling in his stomach started to form: his loneliness created a pain in his chest he couldn’t quit.

Missing Magnus was going to kill him.

He decided to push the ‘ _play’_ button and let the music start. ‘ _It can’t hurt me’_ he thought.

The first notes started to fly out of the speakers, an electric guitar solo opening the song. ‘ _Wow, that’s loud’_ he thought _._

The lyric started, a powerful female voice gave them life with burning passion, the words were already getting under his skin.

At the end of the first song, ‘ _For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic’_ he realized that what Simon said was an understatement: _the_ Vampire _hoped_ that Alec would’ve _enjoyed_ the genre, but Alec was **_LOVING_** every single second of it.

Those notes, those words, that voice, it was all filling the ache in his chest. It was all making the pain bearable.

‘ _I put my faith in you, so much faith, and then you just threw it away’_. That was probably how his ex-lover had felt when he found out about Camille.

It wasn’t the first time Alec thought about Magnus; usually his mind wondered how was he, had he eaten enough, what was he doing at the moment. But now, now Alec asked himself if the handsome warlock would’ve liked the songs he was listening to.

He didn’t realize that the first song had came to the end and the second one had started playing independently.

When the fifth song came, ‘ _When It Rains_ ’, Alec moved from his seated position and went laying down on his sister’s bed and, staring directly at the ceiling, he let the music roll over him. Everything reminded him of Magnus, but not in a painful way.

This song in particular had called back bitter-sweet memories, such as when they were in Paris.

_The day had started out a little cloudy, but just after lunch it had started to rain, while he and Magnus were calmly walking around the city. The two men didn’t care: they kept on walking in the middle of the sidewalk while rain was pouring over them, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. After a few minutes Magnus stopped abruptly and turned his face toward his boyfriend. Alec could never forget the look he saw in those eyes: there was love there, burning love that made the warlock move his face closer to the Shadowhunter’s and passionately lock their lips. Alec’s arms were immediately being wrapped around Magnus’s torso, while the other man moved his hands into his lover’s hair, messing them. They stayed there for many minutes, making out in a random alley in the centre of Paris while the rain soaked them._

The taste of the warlock’s lips still lingered on his, the smell of the rain occupied his nostrils.

Alec didn’t even realize how close to tears he was until the end of the song, when he closed his eyes and felt a strange wetness around his eyes.

He wiped the tears with the back of his hand and kept on focusing on the music instead of letting his mind wander on those kind of memories.

‘ _Cause we are broken, what must we do to restore our innocence?’_. When those words flew out of the speakers, Alec couldn’t contain the tears anymore.

His voice came out as a broken sob as he let the tears stream down his face, for the first time since he and Magnus had break up.

The CD ended and automatically started to repeat itself, as if it realized that Alec needed the sound to cover his sobs.

The young Shadowhunter closed his eyes, tears still spilling out of them, and let the music calm him, his mind remembering a face he knew too well. He didn’t realize he had fell asleep, a smile on his lips.

When the first rays of the sun hit his face, he was tangled with a really warm wool blanket, originally supposed to cover his body but that instead was hugging his legs.

‘ _Izzy_ ’ he thought smiling. The music had stopped, the stereo had been closed and the disk had been put back onto its case.

Alec stared again at the ceiling for a few more minutes, before untangling himself from the blanket and getting up. That night, with music all over him, he had slept better than he had in the past few days. His heart was still shattered, but now he wasn’t facing alone the void inside of his chest.

Simon was right, this genre really suited him the best. Loud volume, guitar’s solos, soulful voices, it was all slowly helping him recovering from his broken heart.

With this strong belief in his heart, Alec went straight into his bedroom and headed to the shower. Under the water spray, the Shadowhunter started humming absently the rhythm of ‘ _crushcrushcrush’_.

When he was all dry and clothed, Alec remerged from the bathroom into his bedroom and found a little package waiting for him on the bed, left there with a note. Full of curiosity he opened it, revealing a portable CD reader, a pair of earphones and another CD case. 

The note read :“ _I got you this, so you’ll never use MY stereo again. I had to sleep in your bedroom and the mattress isn’t as soft as mine, big bro. Anyway, Simon gave me this one, but he said that next ones you’ll have to buy them I didn’t understand where, with him. I ‘borrowed’ the money from mom, so don’t go and tattle about it. Plug the earphones on and press the big button on the centre of the reader after you get the disk into the device. Love you, Izz._

_P.S. If you dare singing out loud I won’t hesitate to break your neck. Seriously don’t sing.’_

Alec smiled at his sister’s handwriting and gazed at the CD. The cover showed two boys, around the age of 13, maybe, one dressed with a black t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans, with smoke coming out of his mouth, the other with a Tibetan Monk’s robe on. In the centre of the cover there was written ‘ _Fall Out Boy’_ and ‘ _Save Rock And Roll’._

Alec put the disk into the reader and did as his sister said, pushing the ‘ _play’_ button, without stopping smiling.

 


End file.
